For most women, we have struggled with our self worth. Should I take a day at the spa because “I’m worth it” or should I ask for a raise because “I’m worth it.” I don’t think it’s unusual and probably crosses gender lines, but personally, I think women are more susceptible to questioning it and even not allowing us to receive according to what we are worth.

Whether you work for a company and negotiate a salary or hourly rate, sell products at a price point, or offer services at an hourly or per project rate, you need to evaluate what it’s worth to you. Even if it’s a product, you are still selling your brand, image and company values.

Speaking from a services business, I have recently switched from an hourly rate to a per project rate. For years, I have been using an hourly rate that has increased as I have gotten better, quicker and knowledgeable about my industry. But then how to my clients value what I have created for them since my work has helped them increase their business profit, image and customer relationships? Am I just viewed as an employee, a freelancer, a technical specialist or consultant?

In my experience, not all projects are the same. I am always learning or creating something new. But they can have many similarities. Let’s assume I have two projects for two clients back to back and they are as similar as they can be. The first project made me learn quite a few new skills and ultimately took a certain amount of hours that I eventually billed for. The second project comes along and knowing the skills I do now, takes 3 hours less than the first client. So for two projects that I created for them, the end products being similar enough to call the “same,” why did the first client have to be paid more? Because it was done sooner?

I am not saying there is a perfect answer as each industry, product, service, job, company, etc. are different along with what the market demands. But it does make you stop and think what value did that project/service/product provide for my customer?

Each of us is unique. Each of our ideas and skills are unique. Who we know and how we do it is unique. So what we offer to others is unlike what anyone else can give. And we have to let everyone know.

How do we do that? This is where our writing and speaking skills come to the forefront. In writing (brochure, resume, website) we need to convey how we have helped others in the past, what our key experiences have been and how we have solved problems. In person, we need to connect with the interview or new customer by connecting, relating, offering options and advice. Women connect emotionally if we realize that we are talking and feeling the same way.

Please do not get this confused with offering a free consultation. I have been giving out free consultations since I started my business, but realized only recently how dangerous this can be. When offering free advice, make sure you don’t go too far to the point where you are handing over the “keys” to let them drive themselves. This is a professional consultation that you should charge for and not free advice. A free consultation is really a “getting to know each other” type of interview where you need to stay vague with who you know and how their problems can be solved.

By all means, you do want to show your confidence in being able to complete their job, or offer them the right product. But telling them they can get the same thing down the street for even cheaper? That’s not really going to help you. And no one is ever hired because they were the perfect candidate, had the absolute best qualifications and looked the best on paper. People are hired because of the personal connections they make with other people.

So what do you think? Do you agree? Disagree? What have been your experiences in showing, talking and feeling your own value in what you can offer to others? Have you found it hard? Easy? Please leave your thoughts on the subject.